4 Ways to Calm a Crying Baby

One of the biggest questions new expecting parents have is, “What are the best ways to soothe my baby?” When a baby cries, they are sending a message: They need something and they need your help to get it. A baby might be hungry, and need food, they might be cold and need warmth, they might feel uncomfortable and need a diaper change, or be tired and need sleep. You will learn your baby’s cries, and you will become an expert at figuring out how to best meet your baby’s needs.

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Oftentimes, it’s a process of elimination, and the first step is soothing. So how do you soothe a crying baby? As a mother of 3 babies, and a newborn photographer who soothes babies in every session, I follow the “Ss”: Swaddling, Shhhing , Swinging, and Sucking. Pediatrician and author, Harvey Karl, M.D., wrote about the Ss in his book, “The Happiest Baby on the Block,” a great read for all first time parents.

  1. Swaddling: Babies love to be swaddled. I always start every newborn photoshoot with swaddled poses. Why? Because babies feel cozy, warm and comfortable when they are swaddled. They feel safe and snuggly, swaddled like they were used to feeling in the womb. Occasionally, a parent will say, “My newborn doesn’t like to be swaddled,” but then they watch me swaddle their baby and the baby drift off to sleep, and they are always amazed. Trust me, it works. There are a plethora of swaddle options out there. Go to a baby store and check them out, or research online and try a few to see what you and your baby like best.

  2. “Shhhing” Sounds: A constant, droning “shhhing” sound does wonders for calming a crying baby. The womb is full of sounds, a mother’s heartbeat, the rushing of blood, muffled sounds from outside of the uterus like a mother or father’s voice. This is a cool video emulating the sounds in utero that a baby might be hearing. White noise like “shushing” creates a blanket of sound for baby reminiscent of the womb environment and can help baby feel safe and calm. I love the baby shusher in my studio, and lots of parents often tell me it is lulling them to sleep too!

  3. Swinging: Swinging, swaying, or gentle bouncing all work great to calm a baby. I swayed with my babies so much, I remember catching myself swaying at times I was not holding a baby! I know I’m not the only one. In my photography studio, I use an exercise ball, that helps lull fussy babies into relaxation. I also swaddle them and sway with them to soothe them. For my own babies, I had a baby swing that reliably swung them all into dreamland for their naps.

  4. Sucking: Sucking is a huge baby soother! Babies like to suck, it’s a basic survival instinct and it’s comforting. At home, babies will suck when they nurse or on bottles when they feed, they will suck on pacifiers, their fingers or baby toys. Some baby “experts” tell new parents not to give a baby a pacifier because it will disrupt latching, or cause problems with baby’s oral development. That may be true. I had twins and I needed them to learn how to soothe themselves (without me at all hours of the night), so there was a time during that first year when each of my twins were surrounded by roughly 20 pacifiers each in their cribs. My hope was that if they woke up and threw out their arm in agitation, they would find a pacifier, insert it and soothe themselves back to sleep with the aid of that sucking. It worked! No judgment please. When I’m photographing newborns, I ask parents to bring a pacifier and tell them they are welcome to nurse or bottle feed, sometimes just to top baby off or give them some comfort during the session. If parents do not want to use a pacifier, they don’t need to, but it is a tool that can be helpful in a pinch. My studio is a breast friendly zone, and boobs are always welcome!

Believe it or not, soothing your baby will become second nature. I hope these tips help!

10 New Baby Essentials

It is exciting, magical, overwhelming, scary and incredible to be expecting a new baby! One of the big questions is what are the essential baby items a new parent needs. With tons of baby boutiques and new items coming on the market all the time, it can be confusing and exhausting to wade through all the available options. From one mama to another, here is my list of 10 new baby essentials:

  1. BASSINET/CRIB: As you will soon find out, sleep is everything! A baby needs a safe, quiet, dark place to sleep. This can be a crib in nursery or a bassinet in your room. Keeping baby close can help with peace of mind, and make night feedings more convenient. I have friends who swear by the Snoo, but it wasn’t available when I had my babies so I can’t speak from personal experience.

  2. SOUND MACHINE: Opinions differ on this, as they do on many things related to babies sand parenting, but I’m a fan of soft white noise. I used it for my babies and I use it in my newborn studio. I love the Dohm Sleep Machine, and used it long after my babies grew out of needing white noise. I also like the Baby Shusher, and all my clients know it’s a staple in my studio for newborn photoshoots. One of my favorites, was this sweet ocean themed sound machine by Baby Einstein that attached to baby’s crib.

  3. SWADDLES: You will use swaddle blankets for everything, to swaddle baby for safe, cozy sleeping, as sun shades on strollers, as on-the-go blankets, as makeshift playmates, or burp clothes to wipe of spit up and spills. Swaddles also come in a variety of types, sizes, and materials depending on baby’s age, activity level, and environment.

  4. ACTIVITY MAT: Before you know it, you will want to put baby down for some quality time on their back and maybe a little tummy time. Activity mats provide a clean surface for baby to lie on. I love the ones with arches with hanging objects above baby to interest and stimulate baby. Great for baby’s development, this will also hopefully give you a few minutes for you! Here’s a list of activity mat options for 2023.

  5. BABY SWING: I remember looking around at my tiny Brooklyn apartment wondering where we were going to put the babies (I was expecting twins) and my husband said, “The couch?” I knew enough to know that wouldn’t work! I love a classic baby swing. Sweet, simple and works like a charm for some mommy hands free time, or even (gasp) for naps. I let my baby nap in her swing, even though all the books say not to because it will ruin a baby’s ability to sleep in her crib — may daughter was fine, but every baby is different. Here are some baby swing options.

  6. BABY CARRIER: Some may not view this as essential but I loved carrying my babies, and found it super convenient. Babies love to be cuddly and close to you, and carrying baby allows you to be hands free. It’s a win-win for everyone. It can also be easier than lugging around a stroller. I loved my moby wrap and ergo carrier, but there are so many amazing options out there to choose from, so do your research and see which one appeals the most to you.

  7. STROLLER: Even if you love carrying your baby, there are going to be tons of times you need a stroller as well. A stroller that incorporates a seat that can effortlessly pop out and go from the stroller to the car to the house — again, to preserve baby’s all important sleep — is super helpful. Some people also like jogging strollers as second stroller, and as baby ages, an umbrella stroller can be convenient on the go. There are so many great strollers on the market. Here’s Wirecutter’s list of best strollers.

  8. BABY MONITOR: Every parent needs a baby monitor. You can set baby down for a nap, know when they wake up, hear them if they cry, and make sure they are safe and content. I like a baby monitor with a camera so that I can not only hear, but see, that my baby is safe. Baby monitors also come in handy as baby grows. I used mine well into toddlerhood and caught my twins when they first learned how to scale their cribs, confirming that it was time to switch to a toddler bed!

  9. BABY AND PARENTING BOOKS: Books are important because, as every new parent knows, there is so much to learn. Parents and friends can be valuable resources, as can books written by experts. Reading or listening to different authors can help you learn what kind of parent you want to be, what your parenting style is, it can teach you tips for different situations, and help give you support and inspiration when you and your baby are struggling with something. Podcasts area also great, but as a quick reference guide or over-arching summary, nothing beats a great book. My favorite baby book, that I still swear by is “The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems” by Tracy Hogg.

  10. HELP: Unfortunately, this is not something you can purchase in a baby boutique, but all new parents need help. It’s important to talk to your partner and decide together what type of help might be available to you, and what you might need. Although Dads are doing a lot more in terms of sharing parenting responsibilities, in the early infant stages most of the heavy lifting continues to fall on mothers, so mothers need support, understanding and love. They also need help with baby for baby’s sake, and also to give them a little time to take care of themselves. A happy healthy mother (and father) is the best thing for a happy and healthy baby. Help could mean a night nurse to help with infant feedings during those first few crazy months after birth, it could mean help with cleaning the house, watching baby for a few hours each week, or more extensive support. I was lucky enough to have one rotating parent stay with me for 3 months after the birth of my twins (I had a color coded chart with all the visits lined up before birth!). I remember my dad and stepmom sleeping on a single twin air mattress in my apartment, my mother in law making delicious and nourishing indian food, and my mom and I eating chocolates together as I nursed the babies. I couldn’t have done it without them!

  11. BONUS: BABY PHOTOS! In the midst of the chaos, sometimes you just feel like you need to focus on surviving, but remember to take photos! The easiest thing is to hire a professional newborn photographer like me, who can take professional photos of your baby and capture all the beauty and preciousness of the newborn time. I have tons of iPhone images of my babies as newborns, as well as professional photos. Although I love them all, I’m glad I set aside a few hours to get professional photos done. I treasure them to this day.

I hope this list helps you prepare! What did I miss?

Note: I do not get anything from any of the products referenced above, they are simply ones I like. I am not a doctor or expert and recommend you do your own research to find out what will work best for you!